Interpersonal conflict: The truth hurts

Interactions between people do not always occur without a hitch. People defer, not only physically, but in their opinions and mindsets.

I experienced my interpersonal conflict during my term of office in one of the committees I served in Sheares Hall, one of the 6 halls of residence in NUS. The committee’s chief responsibility was to manage the affairs of the Hall.

There is a particular member (lets call him William) William who is well known for his uncompromising attitude and ‘independence’. As a committee, we were supposed to discuss proposals during the meetings and come up with a plan that will benefit all after listening to each other’s views and opinions. At one point, however, William was making decisions on his own without consulting the committee in advance.

This happened during the CCA point allocation exercise. (Points are needed to continue staying in hall.) William was in charge of the points being given out to the residents based on the activities they participated in. Rightly, he would have to communicate his decisions to us for our overall approval. He, however, did not do so as ‘it was too troublesome and inefficient’ (quoting him).

The exercise lasted for a few weeks. Initially, all went well and there were no conflicts or unfairness. However, as time progresses, we started noticing certain people getting more points then they should.

When other members, myself included, got wind of what he had done, we decided to confront him. We sat down and enquired about his actions. However, instead of coming clean and admitting to his dishonesty, he defended his actions by saying that these people deserved to be given the points as they have contributed immensely to the hall and are important for continuity. We, on the other hand, noticed that many of these people are his friends and raised the point. An argument ensued which ended with William slamming the table and storming out of the room.

The problem was rectified in the end and the rightful amount of points deserved by the residents was restored. This incident, however, has created a schism between William and the rest of the committee and this animosity have remained until this day. The lack of communication between William and the rest of us has resulted in a situation where he felt unaccountable for his actions and thus allowed him to make decisions that will benefit him or anybody close to him. Are we partially to be blamed for not being effective communicators as well? What could we do now to alleviate this detestation among us?

I hope to be an effective communicator

I must firstly admit that ES2007S was not my first choice of module to take in NUS. I was gently nudged by my friend to take up this module and ‘feed ourselves to the sharks’ as he put it. So I went to check up on the course description and outline. Some parts of the course immediately struck me as important and will come in useful in the very near future.

First would be the application letter and resume writing part, which I will need to know as this is my graduating semester and it won’t be long before I start to find a job. Another section that I am looking forward to albeit slightly rattled by the idea is the mock job interview. But I guess I have to go through it in the end so I might as well get some practice now.

I feel that the skills of effective communication are important as it allows me to bring across a point clearly and accurately. This will prevent misunderstandings, which could further lead to conflicts if the confusion is serious. I think the skills will come in handy when communicating with my future bosses and colleagues.

Having good communication skills also portrays a better image of you. Being able to articulate your arguments and points exudes an image of confidence and will be able to garner respect from your audience.

One point that I have been pondering about is the correlation between good communication skills and good command of language. Must a person have a good command of the language to be able to have good communication skills and vice versa? Any opinions?

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Welcome to this newly created blog specially for ES2007S.